Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in Chelsea's LiveJournal:

Monday, March 10th, 2003
8:05 am	I'm not upset, sad, angry, or mad today! Yay! Of course, it will pass. I'm so content right now for some reason. I have no idea why. Maybe I feel in control of life? I want to capsulize this feeling so that when I have one of *those* days (see below) I can remind myself how I feel today. =) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
9:54 am	Stuck in the mud! Stuck stuck stuck I am a child and I want what I don't have. I'm an only child, specifically, and I REALLY want what I REALLY don't need or have or should have or should need or whatever. I made this decision like five years ago to resign myself to a certain life and now I'm sitting in this cage just looking out at the bars at all the people having a great time and I want out. More than ever I want to tear my skin away and scream at the top of my LUNGS "MY GOD WHY THE FUCK DID I PUT MYSELF HERE?!" I'm stuck in the mud with my feet creating pockets of suction as they try to pull themselves out but the mud is too thick and my muscles are too weak and I try and I try and what I want is RIGHT THERE ..right.. FUCKING THERE.. the answer to my fucking dreams is right in front of my face but I can't get there.. I just want it to brush my fingertips because then I'd at least KNOW that it's fucking REAL and it feels warm and safe and comfortable and give me something to fill this empty pit inside my fucking heart. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 3rd, 2003
7:41 am	Some days just suck :( I try to be positive, but I think to be real, most days suck. You get up and look in the mirror and hate what you see. You open your closet and find something that won't make you look terrible. Then you get in your car and immediately get cut off by some jerk-off in a truck trying to get to work 1/2 of a millisecond faster so he can have his latte at his desk this time instead of having to take it into the meeting with him. Then you finally get on the freeway and get stuck behind a parade of a school bus, a semi, and someone who is so old they owe Abraham Lincoln five dollars. Then, when you finally pull into work, you get hassled by the cleaning staff inside because they used up all the elevators and the only elevator on the ground floor is the freight elevator that THEY should be using, but that elevator doesn't go to your floor so you have to take the stairs even though you woke up just under an hour ago and you're still groggy and all you want to do is go back home, lay in bed, pull up the covers and dream yourself away to a numb unconciousness with thoughts of a life you wish you could have. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 1st, 2003
4:19 pm	you flicker and you're beautiful you hold my hypnotized I'm mezmerized. I like The Cure I don't think I'll ever stop listening to them. It's beeeeeeeeeen.......... about 16 years since I first heard them on Live 105 in 1986. Back then it was "rap" or "rock" or you were a freak. What a refreshing thing on the radio. I'm ok today! I like to visit the woman in the mirror sometimes. Her life is so much more exciting. She's beautiful, has everything she wants, she gets to embrace the things in life that I haven't experienced for so long. I don't know what her name is, but every day she stays the same age as I get older and older. One day I'll day, but I'm sure she'll live on.. my friend in the mirror.. I don't think anyone could ever let her die. Yesterday I got so old it made me want to cry. I wrote this poem in poetry class and my teacher gave me an F. He looked like David Koresh: Black stripes, white skin Vice versa - Zebra I like it. @}---------.---------------'------------------.--------------'---------------------.---{@ (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 19th, 2003
5:52 am	....and it finally touches home... I hate the news. CNN makes me want to puke. I've purposely *not* taken a stand on this whole war thing because I'm too Californian to be that radical. (That means I'm lazy). But really, if you look deep enough into any movement there's usually some stoner at the bottom of it who can't even remember what he's doing. However... I just got an email from essentially the person whose path I was supposed to go down in life, but didn't (Yeah I fucked it all up) saying "I'm going to war!". Now I'm /forced/ to take a side because I don't want one of the most important people in my life to die. Today I feel - hopeless. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 18th, 2003
2:40 pm	No good things come to those who wait I'm slouched in my 600$ ergonomic chair that I didn't pay for. I'm on the phone for 30 minutes with a lady who has a small dog that keeps barking in the background. She isn't following my instructions. The dog keeps barking. Fixing a video game over the phone with someone who doesn't understand computers is like pulling a tooth in the dark with no anesthetic. Someone put the ether over my mouth and let me fade out of reality. Who would have thought a video game company would cause so much stress? It's like I can't beat level 7 in Super Mario Brothers, but I have to keep trying for 10 hours a day every day and pay 2$ in toll just to get to the video game system. Argh! (Comment on this)
2:31 pm	First journal! Today sucks! Today sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks (Comment on this)